Can I really become a better person?

   Every once in a while you'll hear someone say that people never change. While it may be true that some people will be cheap their whole lives through, and others greedy, that doesn't have to be the case for everyone. People's attributes can change. Just look at relationships. People drift apart all the time. Or how about the guy who goes from single to a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband, a father, and then a grandfather? With each of those new roles comes new responsibilities that, if accepted, will give him experience and new understanding. Even if he walks away from those responsibilities, he will be changed. How we choose to handle life's situations affects who we are today and who we are most likely to be tomorrow.

   Mormon doctrine is centered around the belief that people can change, not just by being acted upon by what life throws at us, but also by changing themselves. Mormons believe that if we set goals and work toward them, we can change. We also believe that we must, because God has commanded us to repent (to change for the better). When Jesus says "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect," he means that you need to work toward someday (far, far off, not in this life) becoming perfect like God.

   Change takes time, commitment, patience, and God's help. It doesn't matter what it is that you are trying to change. If you're wanting to overcome an addiction or lose weight, including God in the process will help you significantly. For some people, it may be the only way they will ever succeed. God doesn't just care about our spiritual needs. He knows what we want and need in other areas of our lives, and he is more than willing to help us if we will ask him to and then do our part to reach our goal.

   Mormons believe that another goal we should always be working on is to be like Jesus Christ. When we come to believe that God is real, we need to find out what he wants us to do and then do it as best as we can by setting goals and then working toward them. God has given us many goals to work toward. He has told us to love one another. He has given us the Ten Commandments. God also gave us the life of Jesus Christ as an example to follow. When we keep trying to obey God and live like Jesus Christ, he will bless our lives, and we will find ourselves happier and more successful than we would have been without his help. Not just spiritually, but in all areas of our lives.

   As we try to obey God or overcome a specific challenge, we will inevitably fail from time to time. Sometimes we get discouraged, thinking that it is hopeless, we'll never be good enough. That is your perfectionism talking. Don't listen! Trying to obey God or to improve yourself in other areas of your life is NOT pointless. Every good choice, no matter how small, matters! Every time we succeed at a worthy goal, heaven rejoices. God knows each of us perfectly. He knows that we are imperfect and rebellious at times, so he isn't discouraged or surprised when we do terrible, ugly things, knowing full well that we shouldn't, or when we just give up losing weight and decide to be obese the rest of our lives. God is our father, and he loves us so deeply that he will always love us, forgive us, and help us with what matters to us, no matter what we do to him, to ourselves, or to his other children. Murderers and rapists can have their sinful labels washed away in God's love and mercy if they will do what it takes to change. So can everyone else. There is hope for each one of us. We can change, if we ask God for help. God is eager to help us become better people in whatever aspect of our lives we want to work on, so he is eager to forgive us of our sins and help us rekindle our will to try again. God will also bless us with the things we need to change, such as supportive friends, more wholesome alternate activities, or whatever things we need. 

   It's important to remember that life gets harder as we go. God has designed it that way on purpose so that we will learn to face a variety of challenges and overcome them, or learn how not to deal with them. Don't get discouraged because you can't see your progress, or because you look at your grandpa and he's as cranky and selfish as ever. Give him back the mental and physical capacity that old age has taken from him and put him through the same stuff he went through at age 20, and with all those extra years of knowledge and experience, he should be capable of handling those age 20 challenges much better.

    To summarize, when we draw closer to God by wanting to change and asking for his help, he will draw closer to us because we invite him to. This change may be felt throughout the day. It may be characterized by a more positive attitude, or by a greater desire to do good and to avoid less worthy activities. Whatever the change may be in your life, it will be for the better. The more you choose to obey God and repent when you make a mistake, the more you will let God into your life. And he will bless you, and you will find that with time, commitment, and God's help, you can become a better person.